Over the years, I’ve spent countless hours in online meetings. From the early, awkward days of adjusting to virtual interactions to now, where it almost feels like second nature, I’ve had the chance to hone my own skills and—what’s even more insightful—observe how others have navigated this space. What I’ve learned is that the small, intentional cues we give—beyond our words—are what truly elevate our connections in these settings.

The ideas I’m sharing below come from a mix of personal practice and watching others grow in their approach to online communication. (Not only online, as most of the ideas I’m sharing are applicable to regular interactions, too.) These tips aren’t just effective—they’re simple to incorporate. And often, they can add a deeper, more authentic layer to your interactions, sometimes even surpassing the impact of what’s being said verbally. Non-verbal communication is essential, and the beauty of it is that it’s really easy to introduce once you’re mindful of it.
Here’s what I’ve found works best to show genuine interest and build rapport in your virtual meetings. Let’s dive in!

Where to Look
We’ve heard so much about eye contact and its importance, but you have to admit, creating eye contact online is a unique challenge. Where am I supposed to look—at the screen? At the camera? What does the other person see? Do they even know I’m maintaining eye contact? Unlike in-person interactions, where our eyes naturally meet, online meetings require deliberate effort.
So… Where to look
The sweet spot is slightly above the person’s video image—close to the camera lens. This gives the illusion of direct eye contact without staring uncomfortably into the lens. If the other person’s video is centred on your screen, align your gaze slightly between their image and the camera.
But remember: don’t freak out! Breaking eye contact briefly (e.g., glancing away to think) signals authenticity. The key is to return to the camera with intention, re-establishing the connection.
Your eyes can also express emotions subtly—soften them for empathy, widen them slightly for enthusiasm or surprise, and combine them with head tilts for warmth. Blink naturally; excessive staring can feel robotic, and that’s certainly not something you want.

To Smile or Not to Smile?
Smiling is a fantastic tool for building rapport. But as much as I appreciate advice like “Smile!”, I’d say that our smiles need to be situationally appropriate. Matching and reflecting someone’s mood is crucial for creating a sense of connection. We can’t be smiling when someone tells us about their tensions, struggles, or challenges.
A good technique is to mirror their emotions gently. What does that mean? If they seem serious or reflective, tone down your smile to something softer or more empathetic. If they’re upset, your expression can shift to concern or attentiveness, signalling that you’re tuned in to their feelings. Of course, don’t overdo it! Stay balanced—acknowledge their emotions without sinking into despair.
And if they’re upbeat, let your smile grow to match their energy. A sense of shared enthusiasm and positivity can do wonders for any relationship.

Body Language—Yes, Still
Body language seems to be so neglected in virtual settings, but let’s not forget that it speaks volumes—not only in real, face-to-face meetings. Small gestures like leaning forward or nodding can signal that we are fully present and invested in the conversation.
Why Lean Forward?
​Leaning slightly (be mindful of what “slightly” actually means) forward shows that you’re actively interested in what the other person is saying. It’s a powerful cue that you’re focused on them and their words. Also, it creates a sense of closeness and approachability, even through a screen, as it mimics the body language of someone who’s engaged in the conversation. But remember: leaning forward doesn’t mean crowding the screen—keep your screen at least 50 cm away from your face.
And Nodding?
Oh, nodding is so effective—when used in the right amount. A slight nod signals that you’re following along, validating the speaker’s points. It also encourages the other person to keep speaking. Use nods in moderation, making them visible but avoiding the effect of a bobblehead dog.
Hands… Oh, Right—I Do Have Hands!
I love hand gestures. They add so much to your communication style. Here are a few of my personal favourites—though I’m still working on extending this portfolio:

• The rotating hand gesture: Perfect for encouraging someone to go on, to say more. It feels natural and open.
• Thumbs up (or down): Great for signalling agreement, approval, or appreciation, especially when we don’t want to interrupt.
• A hand raise: Politely signal that you’d like to contribute or ask a question.
• A light touch on the chest or heart: If someone shares something personal and meaningful, a brief hand to your chest shows genuine appreciation or empathy.
• A small wave: It’s a clear, visual cue for starting or ending the interaction on a positive note. Research even suggests that waving makes you appear friendlier and more approachable.
• The weighing hands gesture: Fantastic for showing two alternatives, as if you’re balancing two invisible objects—one in each hand.

​Avoid at All Costs
There’s a long list of behaviours to avoid—especially considering how innovative people can be in their distractions. But to keep it simple, let’s focus on these basics:

• Fidgeting or repeated movements: Tapping pens, drumming fingers, or playing with your hair—you get the idea.
• Looking away or checking other screens: Unless you’re working for NASA or air traffic control, stop glancing at your phone or other devices.
• Crossing arms or slouching: I cross my arms when I’m cold, so I wouldn’t be too strict about this. But be mindful—some positions can quickly be read as signals of disengagement or boredom. Slouching? No comment.
• Overuse of facial expressions: Extreme or exaggerated expressions—like excessive nodding or exaggerated smiles—can make you look ... awkward. AKWARD!
• Messy background or poor lighting: Sitting in a cluttered room with bad lighting is a surefire way to distract the other person. Get tidy, folks!

That’s all for today, but this is definitely not the end of our journey. Next time, I’ll dive into a few creative touches you can add to elevate your virtual presence. I’ll wrap up the series with an exploration of verbal signals that can make or break your communication.

​Ever notice how some conversations just flow, and others seem to hit a wall? Often, it all comes down to the types of questions we ask. If you're looking to sharpen your communication skills, there's one thing you'll want to be aware of: leading questions. But don’t worry! While they can sometimes hinder conversations, they aren't always bad. Let’s explore both sides of the coin.

What Are Leading Questions?
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Think of leading questions as questions with an agenda. They’re sneaky little inquiries that suggest the answer the questioner is hoping for. Instead of inviting someone to speak their mind, they gently nudge them toward a particular response. It’s a bit like giving someone the answer to a quiz before they’ve had a chance to think about it.
And here's my, a bit personal, example :)

• Leading Question: Don’t you think our new course is great?
• Better Question: What are your thoughts on the new course?

See the difference? The first one subtly tries to get you to agree, while the second leaves room for a variety of responses.

Examples to Watch Out For

Here’s how leading questions can crop up in everyday conversations, and how you can tweak them to cut to the chase and spark more genuine, thoughtful answers:

Example 1:
Leading Question: Isn't it true you prefer working in a team rather than alone?
Better Alternative: How do you feel about working in a team versus working alone?

Example 2:
Leading Question: Wouldn't you agree that we need to change our approach"
Better Alternative: What do you think about our current approach? Any areas for improvement?

Example 3:
Leading Question: You think this project was successful, right?
Better Alternative: How would you evaluate the success of this project?
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The better alternatives give the person space to speak their mind, leading to richer conversations and better insights.

Why Should We Avoid Leading Questions?
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​Aside from being a little pushy, leading questions can actually harm the quality of your discussions. Here’s why:

• They create bias. By suggesting a particular answer, you might influence someone to agree with you, even if they don’t fully mean it.
• They limit conversation. Leading questions can shut down the possibility of different opinions, making discussions feel one-sided or unproductive.
• They stifle honest feedback. People might feel less comfortable expressing their true thoughts, especially if they sense that their answer might disappoint or surprise you.

When Leading Questions Can Actually Help
While it's important to avoid leading questions in many scenarios, they do have their place. Here’s when they can actually be useful:

• Clarifying Agreement or Understanding: Sometimes, you just need to confirm agreement or make sure someone understands something. A leading question like, "So, you’d agree that the deadline is next Friday, right?" can help make sure everyone is on the same page.
  
• Persuasion or Influence: In settings like sales or negotiations, a leading question can gently guide someone toward a decision. For instance, "Wouldn’t this option be the best choice based on your needs?" can steer the conversation in a productive direction without forcing agreement.
  
• Interviews or Legal Settings: Lawyers and journalists often use leading questions to challenge someone or to drive toward a specific point. In these cases, leading questions can be strategic tools to reveal information or inconsistencies.
  

In these situations, leading questions can actually clarify details, confirm decisions, or help move things forward. But remember to take this with a grain of salt—overusing them can backfire if people feel manipulated!

Tips for Asking Better Questions
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The key to becoming a skilled question-asker is knowing when to use leading questions and when to avoid them. When you need to gather genuine opinions or foster open conversation, here’s how you can avoid beating around the bush:

• Frame questions neutrally. Avoid wording that suggests a "right" answer.
• Embrace open-ended questions. These encourage the other person to think and elaborate, leading to more meaningful exchanges.
• Stay curious! Let the conversation flow by giving space for genuine responses—no strings attached.

Final words

​I’m all about creative communication! Forget hard and fast rules—when it comes to asking questions, it’s all about understanding the situation, adapting to the person, and being flexible. What works in one conversation might not work in another, and that’s perfectly okay. The tips I’ve shared are just gentle reminders to reflect on your style and become more aware of how you communicate. After all, a little reflection and awareness can go a long way!

Next week is our final oral test. Make sure you are well-prepared and ready to demonstrate your range of skills. Here’s a quick checklist to ensure you have the basics covered:

1. Organize Your Spidergrams/Notes: Ensure your spidergrams and notes are well-organized and clear.
2. Familiarize Yourself with the Vocabulary: Make sure you know all the words you included in your notes.
3. Plan Your Structure: Think through the structure of your responses. Know what you want to say and how you want to say it.
4. Be Ready for Paraphrasing: Be prepared for me to change or paraphrase your original questions.
5. Expect Follow-up Questions: Anticipate that I will ask you to clarify or elaborate on certain points.
6. React to the Question First: Start by reacting to the question. For example, "That’s a great question," "That’s a valid point," or "That’s a difficult question." This helps you buy a moment to organize your thoughts.
7. Enjoy the Process: Remember, the test is about engaging and demonstrating your knowledge, not just finishing quickly. Take your time, give examples, and extend your stories.

By following these steps, you'll be well on your way to acing the test. Good luck!

​After a year of implementing 45-minute sessions alongside 1-hour sessions, I have concluded that I will no longer offer the 1-hour format. Several factors have influenced this decision, and I will outline some of the key reasons below.

​Based on my observations, I've noticed that a 45-minute session aligns well with the natural attention spans of most individuals. Typically, concentration starts to diminish after 30-45 minutes. By adapting my sessions to this rhythm, I've found that my students remain more engaged and attentive from start to finish, leading to a more productive learning experience.

​In our 45-minute sessions, which are now primarily focused on speaking rather than on reading extensive materials or doing vocabulary exercises, the shorter duration compels both me and my students to concentrate on the most crucial aspects of language learning. This structure necessitates a higher level of organization and focus, enabling us to dive directly into active, spoken communication. This approach not only streamlines our sessions but also enhances the overall efficiency and effectiveness of the learning process.

​Taboo questions are the kind of questions that can make a conversation go from chill to awkward in no time! They often dig into very personal areas like someone's health, money matters, or what we believe about big, thorny issues like politics or religion. While what's considered "too personal" can vary from one place to another, these are generally the questions that can make us feel uncomfortable or like we’re being put on the spot. 

When someone asks you a question that feels too personal or uncomfortable, it’s important to handle the situation gracefully. You can always decline the answer saying, for example:

However, when you're gearing up to dive into a touchy subject, here are some easy and engaging tips to keep in mind:

Start with Observation
Begin by observing the current weather. It's direct, relevant, and gives the other person an easy way to engage.
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• Isn't it beautiful outside today? The sun really makes the city look different.
  
• I can't remember the last time it rained this much. Have you seen any good movies on these rainy days?

Share a Personal Insight or Activity Related to the Weather
This adds a personal touch without oversharing, inviting the other person to share their experiences or preferences too.

• I love this kind of weather because it's perfect for hiking. Do you enjoy outdoor activities?
  
• Cold days like this make me want to stay in and bake cookies. What's your go-to cold weather comfort food?

Connect the Weather to Local Events or Activities
This can lead the conversation into new, interesting directions related to local culture, events, or shared experiences.
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• With the weather warming up, the local farmers' market should be starting soon. Have you ever been?
• This rain should be great for the gardens in the park. Have you seen the tulips they plant every year?

Use Humour (When Appropriate)
Light humour can make small talk more enjoyable and memorable, but gauge the other person's mood and receptiveness.

• I heard we might get snow tomorrow. Time to break out the shorts and sandals, right?
• This weather is so unpredictable, I'm thinking of leaving an umbrella in every room of my house.

One of the most effective and genuine ways to engage in small talk is by complimenting or inquiring about personal items someone has. This strategy not only breaks the ice but also opens the door to learning more about the other person's interests, tastes, and personality.
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Why Personal Items?
Personal items, whether it's a pen, a piece of jewellery, a book, or even a phone case, often carry stories or sentiments. They can reflect the owner's personality, interests, hobbies, or achievements. When you notice and comment on these items, it shows that you're paying attention and value what makes the other person unique.

And now to more practical approach:
When You Know the Person:

• Noticed your colleague sporting a new watch? A simple, "Hey, that's a sleek watch! Is there a story behind it?" can lead to an engaging conversation about personal tastes, recent celebrations, or memorable experiences.

When You Don't Know the Person:

• At a networking event and spot someone with a unique pen? Break the ice with, "That pen caught my eye. It looks quite unique. Where did you find it?" This can open up a dialogue about interests, hobbies, or even lead to discussions on work-related topics if the pen has a professional significance.

Small talk is more than just casual conversation; it's a  key indicator of trustworthiness and social skil l. By excelling in small talk, you show that you understand social norms and have strong communication abilities. This not only helps in assessing mutual interests and compatibility, but also signals that you're a safe and reliable partner for deeper, more meaningful conversations. In essence, being adept at small talk opens the door to richer, more engaging interactions, making it a vital tool in effective social exchange.

We've all been there – a clumsy bump into a stranger, a small mistake at work – and out pops the instinctive "sorry." This simple word can be a social lifesaver, smoothing over the tiny ripples we make in our day-to-day interactions. But is "sorry" always enough? Let's explore when this magic word works and when it falls short.

When "Sorry" is Generally Appropriate:

• Minor Mistakes or Accidents: For small inconveniences or accidents, like bumping into someone or being a few minutes late, a simple "sorry" is usually sufficient.
• As a Gesture of Politeness: In many cultures, saying "sorry" is a polite way to navigate minor social mishaps. It's a sign of good manners, whether you're slightly interrupting someone or asking them to pass the salt.

When "Sorry" Doesn't Cut It​

• Serious Situations Need More: In cases of significant mistakes, harm, or offenses, a mere "sorry" can seem insincere or dismissive. These situations often require a more thorough acknowledgment of the harm caused, an explanation, and a commitment to making amends. Imagine you've accidentally spilled coffee on a colleague's important paperwork. Ouch. Here, a mere "sorry" can seem like you're brushing off the gravity of the situation. This calls for a more heartfelt apology, perhaps a promise to help fix the issue.
• The Sorry Overload: Constantly apologizing for trivial matters or things outside one's control can come across as a lack of confidence or even insincerity. It can also diminish the impact of apologies when they are truly warranted. Ever met someone who says "sorry" for just about everything? Over time, this can come off as insincere, or it might seem like they're always walking on eggshells. In these cases, "sorry" loses its sincerity.
• Sarcasm or Insincerity: A sarcastic "sorry" can be worse than no apology at all. This kind of sarcastic apology can be like a double-edged sword. It not only fails to heal the wound caused by the original mistake but often cuts deeper. Sarcasm in apologies is like saying, "I acknowledge the need to apologize, but I don't really mean it." It sends a conflicting message and can leave the other person feeling more disrespected and hurt than before.

Crafting a Meaningful Apology

• Beyond the Basics: For complex issues, especially where emotions run high, a simple "sorry" won't do. A meaningful apology shows you understand what went wrong and why it hurt the other person. It's about taking responsibility and showing you're committed to making things right.
• Building Bridges: In relationships, a thoughtful apology can do wonders. It's not just about saying "sorry" but also about explaining, understanding, and growing together.

My INKA journey began with a clear realization: it had to be shorter, more flexible, yet rich with opportunities.

It was clear to me that many people had a strong desire to learn English but found it tough to commit to regular classes, especially with their busy lives. The traditional way of doing things just didn't fit into their schedules. This frustration was something I could relate to, and it made me want to find a solution.

That's how INKA came to be. I wanted to create something that would bridge the gap between ambition and reality. INKA was designed to complement the conversational classes I was already teaching because I knew my students were looking for an alternative that was more flexible and convenient.

The core idea behind INKA was beautifully simple—just 30 minutes of casual conversation practice each week. It was a way for people to stay connected with a language, keep up their fluency, and stay engaged without feeling overwhelmed by additional work. It was a lifeline for those of us with hectic lives.

But here's the thing: INKA isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. I've always been upfront about that. It's not for folks looking for a super intense, exhaustive language learning experience. INKA is for those who already use the language daily and want to keep it alive without any added stress. It's a handy refresher, an alternative that fits right into the modern world.

In the end, INKA is my way of bringing flexibility and practicality to language learning. It's about helping both my students and myself find joy and success in our language journeys without the need for extra tasks that can be burdensome.

​If you want to try INKA out or find out more, you can do it HERE.